FOUR NIGERIEN SOLDIERS DIED By Pius Adesanmi.

The way I am responding to invitations by TV stations for news segment appearances about Africa, I fear I may soon be blacklisted and the invites will dry up.

1

Dear Professor Adesanmi, there is an ongoing incident in Somalia and we would like to have you on at 7 pm blah blah blah...

I reply that I am indeed able to comment on the tragedy - not the incident - that had happened that day in Somalia. However, will the conversation allow me to mention the strides Rwanda is making in the education sector? No response. 

End of Conversation.

2

Dear Professor Adesanmi, there have been reports of a monkeypox outbreak in Nigeria and we were wondering if you would be available to come on air...

I reply that I am indeed able to make the appearance. However, the President of the African Development Bank, a Nigerian, has just won the World Food Prize. Any chance our conversation could extend to that issue? No response.

End of Conversation.

3

Now there is another invitation to come on national television this evening and discuss Mugabe's appointment as a goodwill ambassador by WHO. Now, I don't like Mugabe but the email I am reading says that the appointment is "being heavily criticized by the whole world" and every sentence of the invitation expects me to come on air and rubber stamp this critique. The whole world here, of course, means the West. I am likely going to reply that I have a more nuanced understanding of "the whole world" and I do not like it when TV stations prepackage Africa and invite me to legitimize a particular slant. I will also offer to discuss Ghana's remarkable recovery from power cuts.

You could say I should just go on air and stylishly veer into the things I want and need to discuss Africa. Last time I tried it, the news anchor brutally cut me off.

That is why I wrote that viral piece asking that freaking continent to develop at least one global information brand that could tell her stories at the level of CNN, BBC, Al-Jazeera, etc.

How can an entire continent not have something close to Al-Jazeera for her own stories at the international level? SABC in South Africa is a local champion deluding herself that she is a brand beyond SA, Ghana, Nigeria and a few other countries. Nigeria's NTA International is a disgrace and an embarrassment. Not a single global information giant, owned by the continent, that could power our stories from our manifold viewpoints.
Do you know that four Nigerien soldiers were killed and eight wounded in the attacks that killed four US soldiers in Niger? Try to ask Google about how many Nigerien and African lives were lost in that attack and Google will send you the first 15 pages about four US soldiers killed. Not a single mention of the African casualties.

Do you know that when that Somalia tragedy happened and we lost that many numbers of African lives, CNN was showing stories of courageous dogs that escaped the California wildfires?

And look at Anthony Bourdain and the rubbish he went to do in Lagos. Next, he will fly to Kibera and scream: this is Nairobi!

That freaking continent must stop the feeding bottle mentality of expecting the enemy to tell her story. The enemy doesn't owe you jack! Get your freaking act together and develop at least one global information brand for your stories.

End of Conversation.

Pius Adesanmi, an acclaimed literary and cultural critic, was born in Nigeria and now lives in Ottawa, Canada, where he teaches literature and African studies at Carleton University. He is one of Nigeria's major intellectuals and writes two weekly columns for the influential Sahara Reporters and NEXT newspaper. His first book, The Wayfarer and Other Poems, won the Association of Nigerian Authors' Poetry Prize in 2001.

You Can't Keep a Good Woman Down by Joy Isi Bewaji.

The craziest and most amazing thing happened today.

I’ve been away from a 9 -5 for two months. The plan was to stay away from a full-time job for a year and focus on script writing, travel and probably find, err, love. Whatever.

I’ve been super busy writing scripts for almost every A+ actor/producer you can name in the industry. My hands are full! Scriptwriting is my new obsession, I follow news I can find, all the way to Shonda Rhimes MasterClass. When I’m into something, I go in!

That's what I do. I send this energy into the universe– make the magic of my passion.

Last week Friday, someone tagged me to a script writing Ad, I sent an email to that effect.

Today was my meeting with the company. I was supposed to go in, wow with my skill and résumé, get the brief and go home with a synopsis to develop. But it didn’t go that way. You see, the company isn’t looking for a scriptwriter per se; they are looking for a creative writer for a fulltime J.O.B.

Aargh! I gladly left one job, I’m not going to get into another, I said to myself. But it started raining – and it rained heavily enough for me to sit my butt through the process.

Did I mention they were 30 other people waiting for different positions the company required? I haven't done this kind of thing in over a decade. LOL!

I finally get to be interviewed. I haven’t been interviewed for a long time, so I tried not to act like I was beneath this – because I am not. Life is a beautiful journey, and at this junction, I was being interviewed by a very young woman obviously in her 20s.

I smiled. Now, I have really lived. She was kind. She said I smelled good. And then said, “Joy, you are over-qualified.”

Yes, at some point, sitting in the waiting room with the others, I kinda figured the Ad wasn't what it was meant to be. But I was ready to let this experience happen to me regardless.

She ushered me into the office of her own boss – Head HR. Head HR said the same thing… “Oh wow, you over-qualify.”

Then she said something… “Oh, my! Joy! I am a fan! You have to meet the boss.”

So she ushered me into the office of the oga at the top – owner of the company. Actually, she had to waylay him as he was heading out.

"You have to meet her," she said.

So I am sitting there with this man who has achieved so much, and he too says, after looking at my CV: “What are you doing here, I don’t think I can afford you. You are over-qualified.”

And I am taking this all in. Let’s not forget that I was there thinking I was going to get a synopsis of a script. At this point, I don’t need a synopsis, one is happening right in front of me – and I am one of the protagonists. LOL!

So we talk about his products, I chip in a few details and creative ideas. I see a few of his staff talking, some kind of excitement, hush-hush stuff, which makes this all so exciting. Then boss says, “I will create a position for you. I will like to work with you. Speak to HR about your figures.”

So I head back to Head HR. We talk figures. We come to an agreement.
.
.
.
I am, once again, on a full-time payroll. I have my own office. I am consulting and heading the creative team of the company.

Just like that.

It’s back to 9 – 5 again. And with a good salary, as always.

I don’t know… is there any other way to spell W-I-N-N-I-N-G?

Moral of the story: You can't keep a good woman down.

I want to buy one Facebook friend a drink for this amazing and unexpected WIN. Something I wasn’t looking out for or thought I even needed. I choose Farida Adamu.

When I got back from a great day, an unexpected shout-out was waiting for me, and it was the perfect icing on an already delicious cake. Thanks, Farida for your kind words.

It's incredible, isn't it? I wasn't looking for a job, yet a position was created for me. So I am going to work so hard at it and shame the devil. Because I am wired to WIN phenomenally. It's what I do.

Peace and love everyone!

I hope you find that amazing stuff you had no clue you needed.

Joy Isi Bewaji, a prolific writer, columnist, and the managing director of Happenings Radio and Happenings Magazine.