If The Existing Plan Fails, Make a New One.

Written by 

Omoruyi Uwuigiaren

In this age and time, there are things you shouldn’t expect to remain the same. One of them is your approach to marriage. Take note of every change in your partner. Failure to do so might leave your marriage gasping for breath. As the goal post shifts, bring new things to the table. Or set new rules to play. Know where the goalpost is at all times. Your ability to keep track of your partner and be on the same page is what makes you a great team player. Marriage is not a competition between two people. It is cooperation between them.

In this digital age, some rules are not only obsolete, they are no longer practicable. So, to survive in any relationship, you need to set rules to guide you and your partner. The rules that you set must evolve. You must create room for improvement. You must never be afraid to start all over again. So, put yourself in a situation where you can easily change things without rocking the boat. Whether it is a short-term or long-term relationship, look out for your interest and security. You are in a relationship. You are not on the battlefield. Even soldiers on the battlefield look after themselves, too. The soldier wears helmet, bulletproof, boots and bear firearm to look after himself. If he does not go about with the aforementioned, he will be vulnerable. He will be killed. If you do not protect yourself and set boundaries, any relationship can drain you. Once you are at the receiving end, you are approaching your end.

Your interest and security is what will make the relationship worthwhile. They are things that every sensible person must look out for in a marriage or relationship. Failure to look after yourself or set rules that give you an advantage or fair standing may lead to turbulence and regret. There are no shortcuts to a better life. The roads are often bumpy, deplorable and tough. Because tough times don’t last, you need to know that things sometimes look scarier than they really are. So, bend any circumstance to your favour. Making a relationship work is expensive. It takes so much for two adults to live together in a house as married couples for years. To achieve this, you must bring your best to the house. A healthy relationship will never come cheap. It takes a lot to be at the top of Mount Everest. So don’t go into any relationship unprepared. Give it your best shot. Yes, marriage is an achievement! You deserve an award if you can make it work. You cannot argue that living with a particular person for 10-60 years without divorce is easy. 

In the past, a lover could reach a distant partner through letters sent by post. Postal services were not perfect. In most cases, the sender may wait forever for a reply. At one time, replies were luxury and may never come. If they do, it could take weeks, months or even years to get to the recipient. An unfortunate lover may have his or her letters lost in transit. Many relationships hit the rocks due to lack of communication. You can’t blame people who choose to move on from a partner that they sense is no longer interested in them. Rather than wait, some settled for less. They moved on with people they could see without needing to write letters that may never reach their intended target.

Communication is important in any relationship. Communication builds confidence. You cannot build any lasting relationship without sacrificing your time and making yourself available.

There are several factors that determine how fast a lover can communicate with their partner. They are:

TIME: With peace comes responsibility. Irrespective of the place and distance, making out time is always essential. You are going to have free periods to write letters and catch up with loved ones. Some people that have tight schedules or no time to socialize, always miss out. Some relationships that mere phone calls and texting would have sustained slipped. Very busy people miss out on great relationships because of the nature of their job. They were too busy to keep the line of communication open. Relationships that you do not spend time nurturing will die a natural death.

FINANCE: It’s quite expensive to be a decent lover. It’s even worse when you are in a distant relationship. You have no choice but to write often to your lover to build trust and hope. There was a time when letter writing is all you have to keep the love alive. In reality, the piece of paper is the only image of the fellow that goes with you everywhere. So, a partner that is not buoyant may find it difficult to send letters to the lover. The writing was never for everyone. People, who could not keep up with this, looked elsewhere for love. Love is expensive. There is no shortcut to nurturing love. You must go through the long, hard road. Writing letters was expensive. Keeping the communication line open, only shows how committed you are to the relationship.

MOBILITY: Having your own car or taking the public bus is the best way to reach a post office that is far. Those who could not commute grew disillusioned. They found catching up with people who are far away hard. They had to let go. The harder it is to get the basic necessities of life, the harder it is to meet your needs and those of your loved ones. In a relationship, it is not a question of love. It is a question of ability. Your lover should tick all the boxes.

Today, technology has wiped out most of these challenges. With the Android phone, you can reach out to anyone from anywhere in the world. So, it is easy to gauge a lover who is unresponsive by checking how many times they reply to your calls and emails. So, in a relationship, it is not a question of love. It is a question of ability. You should be able to fix many things for your lover or loved ones. Once you are not measuring up, it is a clear sign that you are set up to fail.

Nowadays, you don’t have to be a million to express love and set rules that will enhance your relationship. All you need to do is understand the trend, the mood and fix the things you want. Marriage and relationships are on the autobahn. The right amount of energy is all you need to have everything in place.

Today, lovers hardly send letters by Snail Mail or Postal service. It is not only slow; it costs more to do so. Also, you may not be able to say much about a letter that could take days or weeks to deliver. But with the advent of the internet, things have changed. Things are a lot faster now. With the help of the telephone and social media, you can send messages to your loved ones in an instant. And you can say a lot! This is how advancement has affected the way we relate with people whether they are our partners or not. With the click of a finger, you have sent a message. So, the chances that marriage will survive are getting slimmer by the day. The reason is simple. Many people still approach marriage with the same mindset as some centuries ago in this age and time. It cannot work.

Bring your A-game to the table. Be dynamic. Set your rules and live by them. If the rules are not working, set new ones. Because things are changing fast, you are likely not going to survive on the same set of old rules. You will never look genuine. You will be behind. Recreate yourself. With the massive progression at the turn of the century; not being dynamic is a crime. Be ever ready to learn new things. Your marriage is not a concentration camp where everything should be stagnant. Flow with the trend. Bring something new to the house. Get everyone excited again. You don’t have to be wealthy to be innovative. Reinvent yourself.

Apart from people looking for where to survive. More people are looking for where they can be secure. Guarantee security. Be the hope that people are looking for. Be the light. Be the direction. Be the dream man. Be the dream woman. You cannot be attractive if you are not working on yourself. Under no condition should you operate on rules that are obsolete. If you are going to love, set your rules. And get everyone in your team to play by the rules. It is the safest thing to do.

If you have done the right thing, you won’t be at a loss when your partner files for divorce. You will know what you should expect. And what you shouldn’t be asking for. This is how to guarantee your future and be in control. Get the details. Know what you are getting into. Set your rules. There is no possibility that you are going to live out the rest of your life with your partner. So, prepare for the exit from day one. And enjoy the relationship while it lasts.

Gone are the days when you approach a relationship without a goal, direction and plan. If you fail to plan and prepare, you will end up on the wrong side of things.

Marriage is a combination of many things. Which include love, trust, financial capability and sound health. If you narrow it down to only money and sex, you are not far from reality, too. If a relationship is devoid of sex and money, how will that relationship survive? A lot of couples are shocked in their first few months together. Why? They didn’t plan before they walked into the trap. Yes, it is a trap because any wrong union will drain you mentally and otherwise. Some things that they didn’t expect to happen, rear up their ugly heads. They start planning their exit from the marriage. That is exactly how to set up yourself to fail.

What do you think will happen if a relationship is not set up on a solid foundation? The solid foundation is not how religious you are or how beautiful you are. A solid foundation is knowing the strength and weaknesses of your partner. And your partner knows your strengths and weaknesses, too. It gives you an idea of what to expect in the short term or in the long run in your relationship.

Be dynamic. Set the new rules and live by them. If they are not working, set new ones. Never get tired of recreating your relationship. It is your life. Create your own happiness. If the existing plan fails, make a new one.

About the author

Omoruyi Uwuigiaren is a cartoonist and writer. When he was a kid, he loved music and composed songs for his high school band. After school, he wanted to pursue a career in music. Instead, he embraced writing and studied Mass Communications. 

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WORK IN PROGRESS: The Savannah Wind

 

Written by Omoruyi Uwuigiaren

 

Chapter One

Strange Night

Poor weather wreaked havoc on the waters of Guzah. A ship which had struggled all day, bubbling with Makundah pirates, anchored at the shores. They were happy that they survived the madness of the raging storm. They chanted victory songs and shot several bullets into the quiet hands of the night. They had a ladder. One after another, the men clambered down and waded waist-deep through the water to land.

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They had weapons, victuals and treasures stolen from past expeditions. They conquered the madness of the day and now they faced the way home to feed from their valor. The night was cold and glowing insects paraded the forest. An ambitious rider who is not conversant with the forest might take them for a wild cat waiting to walk a body to hell.

After they had gathered at the shore, they took body count. No soul was missing. They set off in a file into the forest behind their leader, Mukande, a wicked dwarf, whom they feared like a god. They looked in every direction to make sure that they were not followed. In a treacherous world, you cannot trust the dark night. Out of its belly are issues of death. There were few stars on the bare chest of the sky. They gave light near the moon. When darkness began to tread the sun’s old path, going further would be a dangerous choice. A man is for himself but God is for us all.

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The forest was old and the stench of treachery hung in the air. Fruit bats made the forest and her fruits their restaurant. The human presence did not hinder them from moving from one tree to another to find a meal. The trees were in their rows, separated by inches and yards. Many fruits were not eaten.

Hunters trailed the pirates. The old forest has always been a battlefield. The strong thrive on the shadow of the weak. The intruders were Oza hunters from the hinterland who venture south of the waters.

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After covering a good distance, they chanted and brandished their weapons. Someone attacked one of the pirates. Before he could snatch a breath, the hunter who plucked him from the group, drove a dagger into his neck. As he lay struggling for life, the attacker grabbed his battle-ax and exerted a mighty heave to zap off his neck. The body of the pirate rested on the bare chest of the earth as his head rolled onto the bush path. , he collected all that was on the severed pirate. Rings, beads and all his belongings were in his pockets. The hunter flashed a menacing smile at the severed body of the pirate. He looked to every side to make sure that no eye was watching. Then he disappears into the waiting hands of the forest.

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As the gang journeyed against all odds, the attackers fell on them. One of the hunters who hid behind an old baobab tree fell upon one of the pirates. They had a fair struggle. The pirate fought back with his battle-ax. His blow came a bit late as the hunter had already driven his sword into the pirate’s chest. He elicited an agonized cry that drew the attention of his cohorts. Before they could blink, the hunter had disappeared into the forest. The man surrendered to the incoming blackness. He was a heap on the floor under the watchful eyes of the quiet evening. Death has no joy.

They rushed to the scene, flashing their torchlight and wielding their weapons. They checked the man. He was cold like a headless chicken. One pirate flashed his light about. He saw strange mask on a tree. He walked to the tree to have a closer look to learn what type of mask it was. He plucked the mask from where it hung; he flipped it back and forth. He was trying to figure out its source. A large man who was as dark as midnight emerged from behind the tree and drove a spear into his belly! The pirate yelled up to the high heaven and fought back with his ax. He missed his aim. He staggered. The large man who is an Oza hunter stabbed him by the side with the spear.

Before the attacker could take cover in the nearby bush, his pair of legs betrayed him. He stumbled on a log of wood and landed on the ground. He tried to regain his footing and run. Arrows from the pirates sank into his body. The hunter fell to his knees. But as they rushed to vent their anger for killing one of them, the creature drew his knife and took his own life. He fell on his face to the ground.

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They rushed to his corner. They stood over him and looked down on his lifeless body. “He’s a hunter from Oza!” one of the pirates said and spat on him.

“What is an Oza hunter doing here? They hardly go beyond the hinterland,” said Salis. He frowned and looked about.

“Where does that leave us?” Moadab inquired and looked at Salis.

Mukande chuckled. “We have a big problem in our hands, Moadab. This is not good. The hunters are tracking us,” Mukande disclosed. He blinked his eyes almost a million times. The fierce balls that sat on the socket of his skull traveled round the trees and back to his men. “Salis and Moadab will protect the treasure, while the rest of you will make sure they are safe. You must fight as if your life is in your mouth. If you do not resist this storm, we may never make it out here alive! The Oza hunters are no mere men. Legends say they are sons of a dark spirit that once roamed the old earth. Yet they bleed like us and draw breath from the wings of the morning breeze. Spare no one. Spare no hunter. Make them pay for the departed!” He clenched his fist.

They nodded in agreement. They grabbed their weapons with iron grip and continued their journey. Not long after, five or more arrows flew out of the woods. Two pirates caught. They fell and others injured. Rattled, Mukande and his men decided to run through the dark forest to their hideout in the cave.

The pirates tasted misfortune as their meal for that day. The hunters fell on them and they fought all night.

The horror of death stared them in the face. Those who escaped the frenzied attack of spears and arrows fell by the sword and ax of the hunters. Many lay struggling for life like primitives that fell stone dead at the blast of muskets. The battered bodies of the pirates littered the floor. Hidden behind the odd night and tall trees, the hunters had the advantage. They grabbed the opportunity with both hands and wreaked havoc.

Yet, the hunters also suffered loss. Makunde, Captain Salis, Moadab and the few others that were still alive decided to flee. The hunters chanted victory songs and brandished their weapons before they gave chase. As they chased them down the path to finish them off, the hunters made life unbearable for the pirates. At intervals, an arrow would pierce the ugly darkness and rob a dear soul of his life.

Mukande and his men ran into a swamp, where some territorial crocodiles had taken refuge. But the night hindered them from seeing beyond their nose. Three or more pirates wade through the swamp to the other side fell into the mouth of the crocodiles.

Mukande and the others took another route. As the hunters approached the swamp, they faded from the chase. The creatures disappeared into the forest.

It was relief as they no longer hear the noise of their pursuer. Trying to keep their pace and looking back at the same time, they dashed into their cave and secured it.

Men sat on the floor groaning in pains. Those who escaped hurt made fire and offered treatment to those that were casualties. Mukande, the dwarf, suffered a deep cut on his shoulder and was languishing in a corner near the fire. Treatment offered to those they felt would survive. They killed others whom they felt had little or no chance of survival. And they threw them out of the cave. Salis and Moadab only suffered bruises and were in good company. It was a long night. Uncertainties spread in the camp. Their safety was no longer guaranteed. The group had never come under attack in the forest. After surviving the raging storm, it was hard to say what will happen next.

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One minute, Colonel John Locklear was in an ambush in Iraq, and the next he was home and his entire team was MIA. In his dreams, he’s drawn into another world where past, present, and future are all happening at once. There are high-seas pirates negotiating with sentient robots and people who feed off of nature’s light energy. Natasha is a leader in this other world and she keeps calling John by the name “Zac.” Then, it isn’t a dream anymore and John becomes Zac, accepting that he—and his team—have a role to play in Lunia, the world on the other side of a black hole, the world Zac needs to save.

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So sad Adetutu Adedotun chose the wrong way to die by Omoruyi Uwuigiaren

Smart people don't die for love. 

After considerable sacrifice, 

if things do not improve, they move on.

 

Love and relationship that works

When Tupac Shakur released his popular track, “Unconditional Love”, I guess he didn't envisage that a time will come when humanity will need to look at issues from a comprehensive perspective. Ditch the old conventional way, set new rules and play the cards from a significantly higher table for balance and precision. Love is memorable and refreshing. But it carries its own responsibility. Sometimes, it steals your time, money and resources. You are expected to give. That is one major reason why you are in any relationship. No one person can make any association to flourish. It takes two or more people to be on the same page. When people have given so much to any relationship that is when they tend to become apprehensive. They don’t want their sacrificed to go down the drain. They want to see results. They want to see significant improvement in the behavior of their partner. If they don’t succeed, they start dying. That is why you should always give yourself attention. If the relationship is taking its toll on you, give yourself a break. See a psychologist. Get the necessary help to bounce back. The weight you bear while loving someone could sink a ship! 

Build your relationship around ethics

At any rate, you don't place affection at the center of everything. It is dangerous to build any relationship around it. Because people change and you cannot completely control how they will react to you all the time, you must prepare and build boundaries. Work on yourself. Be psychologically balanced to face uncertainties. Love and relationship are areas in our lives that require constant sacrifice even in the face of uncertainties. You cannot rule out giving. You cannot reject commitment and expect things to stay the same. Correlation is broad. You can hardly put a figure on what individuals bring to the table. The persons that once loved you could turn their back on you. So you need to know when to draw the line. Set the boundaries. Know when to pull the plug. You should easily sense danger. That is why you should always consider your well-being first. Put your interest at the heart of everything. If need be, place your concern on the negotiation table. Let everyone see what you want, what your goals are and what you stand for.

There is no such thing as unconditional love
 

Your mental health is your life. We live and succeed by certain rules we follow. This high level of organization is what is needed to keep you afloat. In your darkest hour, you should remember that your body functions properly when you feed it with the right meal. To maintain great body this condition, you must keep an eye on a strict diet. If you don’t do this you are going to have health challenges. Meaning the key to survival is to lead a healthy lifestyle. So there is no such thing as unconditional love. It’s a weak perception to carry yourself about thinking your loved ones cannot hurt you. People who have this mindset are easily dazed. In most cases, they take rash decision because they are in a hurry to get out of a problem. Not minding the outcome of their choice. Adetutu Adedotun plunged herself into the Lagos Lagoon because she allowed her emotion to get the better of her. She forgot that by taking her life, she was going to hurt thousands of people that believed in her. Sadly, the people will heal and move on. But she can never reclaim her place in this beautiful earth again. We may not let her go in our hearts for as long as we want. Can we say the same of her that she will not let us go in her heart? Nobody is worth dying for.

Don’t be stuck in one place

 If your partner is making too many demands and brings little or nothing to the table, there is no way that will change when you decide to marry. In most cases, such people tend to wear you out. You should know you are possibly going to be stuck with that attitude for as long as you can bear. If the relationship is not working at the moment, it is likely going to be problematic in the future. Be open to new things. Don't be stuck with a person that offers nothing. That is liability that will leave you vulnerable. You are possibly going to foot all the bills and shoulder all the responsibilities. This is not good enough. There must be something he or she is giving in exchange for your time and resources. You can never find complete happiness when you are everything to everybody. It will drain you. In the long run affect your mental health.

 

Self-esteem is for everyone

The lady that plunged herself into the lagoon didn't deserve to die. She was leading people but could not lead herself. She must have dropped so low to fit into a system. And when you do that, you are looking for trouble. She was the one that needed affection. Probably, she wasn’t getting enough from her partner. She wanted all the attention. It was her right. As a woman of substance, she should ordinarily get whatever she wants. But in the real world, it is hardly so. Not everything is written in gold. At some point, you will need to create your own happiness. It may never come cheap. You take it by force. You are permitted to create your own world if everyone is against you. I don’t know how much she contributed to the relationship. In most cases, you cannot get everything you hope in one partner. So she should have lowered her expectations. At her level, an instructor with the DSS, she was supposed to be everything you need in a decent woman. Sadly, she lacked the most important of them all—self-esteem. She didn't love herself enough. She didn’t place herself above everything. She never had shock absorber. When people focus on what is not necessary, they easily miss the big picture. She was supposed to be the center of the universe. She didn't believe in who she was. She didn't see herself as a top performer. She saw herself as someone without hope and aspiration. She was defeated. At heart, she was fragile. She was too weak to carry her future on her shoulders. The lady was struggling. She was being devoured from the inside. She was vague and didn't know her true worth.

 

In order to live above the waters, you must develop thick skin

Basic education does not end in the classroom. Government should borrow idea from the street to further develop the national curriculum to solve the problem of having graduates who don’t understand that life is no bed of roses. On the street, people are forged from furnace and are made to taste life at its finest. Some billionaires went through this school where they are exposed to many things that leave them tough and ready for the real world. Parents should endeavor to educate their children about the street. Let them know that academic qualification alone is not a guarantee for success. Young people should build themselves to withstand shock and unpleasant situations. In order to live above the waters, you must develop thick skin. In real life, you will sometimes be tested beyond your limit.

 

About the author

Omoruyi Uwuigiaren is a former cartoonist turned writer. When he was a kid, he loved music and composed songs for his high school band. After school, he wanted to pursue a career in music. Instead he embraced writing and studied Mass Communications. His literary works and books have appeared in Moronic Ox Literary and Cultural Journal, Qwenu, Open Books, Urban News Express Online, Academy of the Heart and Mind and many more. He’s the editor of Ruyi’s World of Books and Stories. 

 

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SHORT STORY: CELEBRATE THE GOAT: Cristiano Ronaldo by Omoruyi Uwuigiaren

 

In 2020, Cristiano Ronaldo became 

the first active team-sport athlete 

to surpass $1 billion in career earnings. 

He is the first person to surpass 500 million followers across the major social media platforms.

 

As we anticipate the retirement of CR7 from the beautiful game that brought him fame and fortune, he will not only draw tears from many eyes; it will also be the end of sheer dominance from the man the universe blessed.

 

He fought many battles on the football field. Most of which he won. I believe Ronaldo must have at some point wondered how he made it this far. It is beyond class and talent to be at the peak of your powers for many years. I strongly believe that providence was at the root of everything. The gods, in their wisdom made Cristiano Ronaldo a champion. An assignment he had accomplished here on earth!

 

The star has given everything to football. He has won everything and may probably retire after the 2022 world cup in Qatar. At 37, Cristiano Ronaldo has nothing to prove. He has scored great goals and his individual awards speak volume about the man.

 

Collectively, Ronaldo has won 32 senior trophies in his career. He has also attained one title from youth and at least five titles from friendly competitions. All in all he had won over 300 trophies and medals by January 2021, with some of them dating back to his childhood.

 

What a player! He’s been a top professional throughout his career. The question now is, “Will there be another Cristiano Ronaldo?” This is a straightforward answer. There will be several talents coming through the ranks. Great players in their own right but there will never be another Cristiano Ronaldo! We are fortunate to witness the creature in our lifetime!

 

Someday, he will draw the curtain on his illustrious career and the round leather game will sorely miss the sheer talent from Madeira, Portugal. In fact, the world is already missing him.

 

At 37 years old, the body is no longer the same. It can no longer cope with the rigor and challenge of football.

We will miss the biggest personality to come out of Portugal.

 

 

New books to read:

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Beyond the father

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.