JOY ISI BEWAJI: A MAN KEEPS YOU HAPPY WHILST YOU ROLL YOUR BUTTOCKS IN CIRCLES TO PLEASE HIM.

So, when did polygyny become a distasteful arrangement in Nigeria?

I am confused. This entire side-chick syndrome didn't exist a decade, or so, ago because most of you did come from a polygyny setup. And if you weren't aware of it initially, you were fully informed when your father died. Branches of his polygyny sprouted from the family tree at his burial, and you met new siblings that lived just as well as you did.

We despise polygyny because it isn't "woke" enough. That's the stuff our fathers did. Polyandry is being applauded in some quarters because, well, it sounds different. It's the same way we embrace feminism without having a clue what to do with it.

While you are all slashing the cheek of some side-chick for trespassing, realize that polygyny is going nowhere.

As long as the Nigerian masses still live below a dollar daily; as long as there are no jobs, no water, poor institutions that meet our health, legal, educational needs... as long as our aspirations cannot come true under the Nigerian dream, sorry, nightmare, polygyny is the only way average Nigerians can meet their needs. The few successful ones will have to love, sex, and provide for the majority of broken dreams. It's that simple.

I had a relationship where the account manager of my boyfriend would call by 11pm, flirting and throwing all the green lights she can afford to give. You think she is calling to share the word of God? She probably has a "fiance" somewhere, but she can see very clearly this customer has the kind of money that will sort her out for life. If he agreed to the chase, and ask that she come over to wherever he was at that moment, you really think she's going to turn him down? Of course not! It's a mix of a lot of errors - poverty is one. Not blatant poverty, but lower middle-class poverty that is always one cheque away from being broke.

Polygyny will thrive in a country where credit facilities do not exist. If you want a house, you're going to have to bring your N1.2m annual rent along. No monthly payment, except you, live in Oshodi, paying N4,800 monthly for a crib that occupies you and a chicken. If you have dreams, the system doesn't support you. You need a car? You'll have to bring the entire N8.6m cash along. Bank facilities? Don't even bother. As tough as the system is in Nigeria, religion allows you to act like you are against the lifestyle that keeps you.

Polyandry is hip now because a few "civilized" countries talk about it like a cool sport. And feminism along with transexual rights are focusing on empowering women. However, polygyny reminds us of the patriarchy we need to dismantle. But as long as Nigeria is concerned, I am yet to see how polygyny is a bad thing. 

In third world countries, many women rise out of poverty because polygyny exist. This country has no proper system for alimony, child support, spousal support... what we have is a man who is willing to love you and take care of you. It's belittling, yes. But so is profound lack. If you don't want to live that way, you'll need to work hard and think hard. But we are not thinkers per se.

There's a girl on Instagram that hops around celebrities' comment section to drop this:

"Plix I want to be in a movie. How do I do it? Help me."

She's an adult. But she wants a route that wouldn't require any kind of work. At the end of the day, she's going to find someone who'll invite her over to a guesthouse, have sex, play a dead role in a movie that mean absolutely nothing, continue with the sex for roles hoping it'll eventually mean something for her career, get pregnant, become a baby mama and probably get a neat crib at Mafoluku to keep baby and mama happy.

I worked with a writer once who drove a badass Mercedes Benz, hardly repeated a dress twice and lived in Lekki (No, it wasn't company accommodation).  Me, her boss, was riding a Rav4 and living on the mainland. Do you really think her staff writer wage could afford her that lifestyle? No, it is not her parents' money either. I earn ten times more than she could ever be paid as a writer. Yet she lived an easier life. We never talked about it, of course. It is none of my business. But that, to a large extent, is what I call "polygyny lite" - when a man keeps you happy whilst you roll your buttocks in circles to please him.

These things will always be with us, because poverty is always around the corner, and poverty is not an easy option.

Joy Isi Bewaji is a prolific writer, editor, columnist, Managing Director at Happenings Radio, co-founder of wahalanow.com, and Creative Director at The Network Bank. 

The Reinhard Bonnke's Farewell crusade : Great Lessons.

Evangelist Reinhard Bonnke

The just-concluded Reinhard Bonnke's farewell crusade taught me a great lesson that will remain with me all the days of my life on earth.

The preparation for the crusade centered around heads of churches and ministries, officers of the Christian Association of Nigeria ( CAN) and the Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria ( PFN). Committees were drawn from these groups to cater for accommodation, IT needs, counseling of new converts and transportation.

At the committee level, a number of heads of ministries and churches were particular about the finance, how much will be available to them in cash but the Deeper life church was particular about the souls. I'm not a member of Deeper life but as a top officer I watched on. Others kept on demanding for money to work but the officials of the Deeper life Church were encouraging the brethren to sacrifice. The Deeper life church supplied about 50,000 counselors and provided their camp free of charge to any counselor who may want to sleep over irrespective of the church such may come from. Its like they are well grounded in the spirit of sacrifice. When the program eventually was begun, they were everywhere scouting for souls as others were scouting for financial remuneration. Immediately the committees were informed that there won't be any money for transportation, many went recumbent but the Deeper life church was spending their personal money and likewise spending themselves. Like I earlier said I'm not a member of the Deeper life church but their commitment in following up converts challenged me and left in me an indelible mark. They forsook all to ensuring none of the harvests was wasted.

The way some people appear and dance and behave is not in line with the Deeper life doctrine but they jettisoned all of that for them to harvest souls. I'm not surprised because their doctrine centers almost exclusively on the rewards afterlife and it brought for them a great dividend in this crusade. They never allowed the efforts of the Reinhard Bonnke's ministry go down the drain.

Many of us know too much, talk too much but none is translating to good quality service that will endear to the hearts of the master.

We need to change our attitude towards money as ministers because the love of money is the root of all the evils being witnessed in Nigeria and in the church today.

--DEMOLA FAJIMI.

May I add this as an "eyewitness" and not just an "online witness". I saw the largest crowd I have ever witnessed. The Holy Spirit controlled the mammoth crowd that there was orderliness even though people were standing shoulder to shoulder. There were a lot of entertainments and true worship. However, when Bonnke came to the stage it was clear he was not there for entertainment. He was a man with burden and passion for the salvation of souls. No new message of salvation just like the Bible with the same old message of Christ crucified. However, there was power, power, as there was complete and full attention throughout. At times he appears to want to weep, at times you will hear the sound of his heavy breathing from the microphone like an aged person overstressing his energy limit. He must continue preaching because that is the last message or appeal of Christ's General, to Nigerians, no, the whole world, to embrace Christ. After the message, he made an altar call. 

Nearly all the crowd raised their hands. Most of them definitely are from Pentecostal churches and I begin to wonder why many Pentecostals are not sure of salvation and what their pastors are teaching them. After that his successor, Kolenda came up to minister healing. He started with praise worship which is not entertaining but really connecting to heaven. He made simple prayers. To my surprise, no single "falling under anointing". Did miracle happen? Kolenda asked those who received miracles to raise up their hands. They were in thousands. As if it was too much for him to believe, he clarified and asked only those who have experienced physical bodily changes to raise their hands; still the same thousands. From the testimonies, it was clear that the Man of Galilee actually visited us. Now listen, Bonnke came to transfer his anointing to those who care. A thousand Bonnke's are not enough to evangelize the ever-increasing godless world, but they can make a difference. May God raise thousands of Bonnke's for this generation and I want to be one. What about you? Just start somewhere and who knows...

Source: Facebook