AN EMPTY SKULL WITH COBWEBS BY JOY ISI BEWAJI.

What Timi Dakolo said...

“We as Christians give our tithes to God. Whether pastor chop or not na him go answer to God.”

“A canal mind cannot understand the things of the spirit.”

“You don’t have any right to talk about marriage when you are a divorcee (or unmarried)”

“You need patience and understanding and high level of communication to stay married.”

"This generation is impatient."

And the worst of the bunch goes thus…

“All men love curves and boobs and a beautiful face, but we would forever respect a complete and intelligent woman.”

Yet all of you – obtuse and brain-dead are clamoring to place a crown on his head. What do you find in this tedious, colorless spittle that makes it any less redundant as the yarn of an average Nigerian?

This is what your great grandfathers said. It is what your grandmothers told your mother. It is what your mother is spitting all over your face for the last 30 years, so much that you can’t think of any real success that doesn't include a man. There’s no revelation in these excerpts, no thorough or profound thinking. His word is as dull as he looks. But you all need to preserve old traditions, so you line up on his IG spreading your bras and pants for him to walk on because nothing satisfies the average dull Nigerian beyond a broken record of repeated stuff that conceals his/her inability to think for self.

Timi is not a thinker. He is nothing close to Freeze on a scale of intelligence. Freeze is not perfect, but neither are you or Timi. Side chick gossip about Timi is out, and Timi is taking videos of himself smiling… as a child in need of new knowledge. Olodo rabata.

You don’t like Freeze because he dedicates his time to shame your twisted religion. If he isn’t saying something worthy of attention, why do you pay him any? On a scale of basic intelligence, Timi is a fetus where Freeze is grey and tending to his garden.

His word is as dull as he looks.

You are all afraid. Afraid that these things we talk about will force you to think, apply your brain. And since it’s just an empty skull with cobwebs that you possess, truth startles you, exposes your lack of sense; and the emptiness causes an echo that travels too far for your comfort. Nigerian celebrities are probably the most ignorant group of individuals you can find in one space. All you need to do is ask them about feminism, marriage, religion, domestic violence, even rape, and all the maggots suggestive of a brain rotten out of neglect starts to seep through their mouths, noses, and ears.

I don’t care for this topic, but be ashamed that you can’t help being so wow-ed by basic common knowledge. What really is this shit that is making you all go gaga with excitement? You think your instant love for Timi and his ho-hum comments will faze Daddy Freeze?

Joy Isi Bewaji, a prolific writer, columnist, and the managing director of Happenings Radio and Happenings Magazine